


i sold what i could and packed what i couldn’t

by chocolateownsall



Category: Social Network (2010)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-04-06
Updated: 2011-04-06
Packaged: 2017-10-17 16:15:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,898
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/178634
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chocolateownsall/pseuds/chocolateownsall
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Or the five times Eduardo thought he’s moved on and that one time he may finally have.</p>
            </blockquote>





	i sold what i could and packed what i couldn’t

**Author's Note:**

> Warning: Unbetaed. Non-native English speaker.

****  
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the first.   
  


****  
_  
_   


During the deposition Eduardo found it difficult to really come to terms with the reality that everything (everyone) he believed was going to be a part of his world for the long haul (his entire life if he was being honest) started disintegrating – even more so when the charred remains began to settle.

Now here he is –heartbreak and a billion dollars later– and he doesn’t have any inkling what to do, where to go from here and now what.

After scrawling his signature on those settlement papers, the first thing he did was to check into some random hotel incognito, he just wanted to be alone and spend some time away from everything, to sort the jumbled mess in his head and let it all sink in, tried very (very) hard to convince himself he won.

Eduardo gave himself a week, he shut himself from the world and studiously ignored the 27 unread messages blinking insistently on the tiny screen of his blackberry; he neither wants the tentative congratulations nor the fumbling apologies. He deletes them all – every single one of them still unread, Eduardo can’t help but notice that not one of them was from Mark and hates himself for it.

Seven days later and he’s still at a loss. Still can’t wrap his mind around what Mark did to him; couldn’t help but play and replay their time together in a dizzying loop in his head trying to figure out what he did to deserve this. He comes out empty handed every time because he knows it in himself that he’s done everything Mark ever asked him to do, tried to please him in the littlest of ways to the not so. Eduardo surprises himself with the realization that he’s been putting up with Mark’s disregard for a while now, been playing the martyr ever since they’ve known each other and so completely accustomed to being treated that way that he only finally gets it when Mark used number and percentage to show just how low he valued Eduardo.

That should make him feel better - the knowledge that he’s a better man should at least make him feel better - that really, truly he deserved better than Mark, shouldn’t be pained by this anymore, should be relieved to be rid of that one-sided relationship. It was unhealthy.

Eduardo’s throat suddenly feels dry like he’s parched, his lungs feel like it’s all crumpled and deflated inside his chest, he’s gasping and gasping, his belly feels like it's twisting into numerous almost painful knots, hears himself sob and it sounds strangled and thinks he must be dying. He curls in on himself on this huge bed, alone and miserable and betrayed and just lets the tears come. He cries for everything that was and for all the things that will never be. This is probably emotional catharsis –Eduardo decides amidst all the sobbing–, and after this, yes after this he’ll feel better.

He doesn’t.

 

****  
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the second.    
  


It takes Eduardo a little more than a month to finally stop deleting every single e-mail from anyone at all who’s associated to facebook. Dustin, Chris and some of the people he actually knew and still work for Zuckerberg filled his inbox for the first couple of weeks until they stopped when they figured they were never going to get a reply.

Dustin and Chris are much more persistent and e-mails from them continue to come daily, Eduardo clicks delete every single time still, doesn’t ever bother reading them.

He knows he’s being petty but Eduardo’s maybe a little bitter, holds a tiny bit of grudge for them both, for sticking with Zuckerberg. Finds it unfair that despite what Mark did to Eduardo they chose to stay at his side. They were just as invested as Eduardo was when facebook was still just a potential, truth of the matter was they were more of a help to facebook than he ever was and yet he’s the one who made a scene and they chose to stay. In a way, they both made him look like a huge drama queen for filing a lawsuit against Mark.

He surprises himself when he clicks Dustin’s message open.

hey eduardo, it’s me again. man i feel like your e-mail add’s kinda my online diary or something. been bitching to you every day for what, maybe a month now? i wish you’d stop deleting our messages, just wanted to say hi. i’m actually chillaxing right now,  chris on the other hand, he’s next  to me and he’s typing up a pretentious presentation that may last 12 hours maybe more, he says hello too btw and that it seems like he’s not gonna be able to send you today’s e-mail. please reply already.

He surprises himself even more when his fingers start tapping on the keyboard, corrects Dustin that actually it’s been seven weeks now. Words start filling the screen, Eduardo’s fingers are much faster than his brain this morning and before he can stop himself he’s already clicked the send button.

A couple minutes later and there’s a reply; it’s obviously typed hurriedly and it has ridiculous amount of typographical errors in it considering it’s only made of maybe less than 10 sentences and it’s rambling in a typical Dustin fashion. Eduardo can’t help but smile.

They trade short messages back and forth and admittedly the first couple ones are halting and stuttered but they gradually turn easy, familiar and comfortable almost like when things were still simple and uncomplicated.

Dustin has to ruin it, has to fuck it all up when he decides to type the line: chris and i agree that mark misses you just as much if not more, he barely eats now eduardo.

Eduardo’s hands are suddenly cold, he doesn’t reply because what does Dustin want from him, what exactly does he think he’s gonna gain by telling him that? He was contemplating logging off when a new message pops up.

It says: too soon?

Eduardo replies: too soon.

This is progress though, this is development. Eduardo quickly changes the topic and smiles while typing because perhaps not everything is lost.

 

****  
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the third.   
  


When Eduardo has had enough of being a paid bum and a billionaire (and still counting) he decides to travel the world. It’s something he’s always wanted to do and well he can afford it now, as a matter of fact he can afford to travel the whole entire world and then a dozen times more and then some and after that maybe a space tour. He doesn’t need to have a degree in Economics to compute that after all of that travelling he’d still have enough money to last him a lifetime.

He wants to file for a vacation leave because it’s only polite and proper that he does but as much as it pains him to admit it, it’s not like they have any need for him. It’s not like his absence (or presence) is going to affect facebook in any way.

So he packs his bags and doesn’t look back.

For the first time in many months he can honestly say he’s having fun again; he drowned himself in diverse cultures and surrounded himself with equally diverse people, he has eaten exotic cuisine ranging from gross to completely ridiculous and there was that memorable occasion where he paid an insane amount of money to eat ice cream with gold dust in it.

However when it’s night and Eduardo’s all alone in his extremely posh and depressingly spacious hotel bed he tries not to hear the whispered promise of, ‘Wardo one day we’re gonna travel the world and we’re going to fuck in every single one of them,’ in his head.

Tries but fails anyway.

 

****  
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the fourth.   
  


Of all of the countries and major cities he’s visited, it’s Singapore Eduardo completely falls in love with and before he knows it he’s bought himself a condominium there which came as a surprise even to himself seeing as in the United States and really even in Brazil he only ever rents a place.

It’s the first time he’s opened facebook since he sued Zuckerberg and when he does the first thing he does is change his location and upload what could possibly be hundreds and hundreds of pictures of when he was busy gallivanting around the world.

Dustin and Chris like all the albums he uploaded and both write on his wall.

Dustin says: “so man, you seriously live in singapore now? seems like you owe us like dozens of souvenirs!”

Chris says: “What Dustin said. Also, we miss you so stop being lazy and be more active here or atleast I dunno text back maybe you hermit wanna-be. Visit soon.”

He meets Steven somewhere along the way, it started as a no-strings-attached kind of affair because Eduardo’s just human and it’s been a while since he’s shared a bed with anyone.

Steven’s a budding entrepreneur who’s also based in Singapore and what was supposed to be a one night stand turned into two and then three and four and then a whole week and Eduardo decides to stop counting after that.

He’s not entirely ready to get too involved with anyone yet, still far too insecure, the wound just beginning to heal and still much too raw and when Eduardo tells him all of these things, Steven just smiles and accepts them all.

The man is unbelievably patient and insistent and affectionate all at the same time. He’s different because he doesn’t just take and take and take some more until Eduardo’s left feeling like he’s bare, like there’s nothing left of him, wondering if he’ll ever be enough. Steven knows exactly when to push for more and when to give him space. He’s pretty sure he doesn’t deserve Steven… maybe just as much as Mark doesn’t deserve Eduardo.

And when he asks Eduardo to move in with him, when Steven says, “I know it’s a little early and it’s presumptuous but I think I love you.”

Eduardo nods his agreement but couldn’t really return the words, tries to shake the memory of Mark saying the same thing because look where that got them. He tries extra hard not to dwell over the memory of just how much more elated Eduardo felt when Mark said it.

Trust Zuckerberg to ruin Eduardo’s moment even in his absence.

 

****  
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the fifth.   
  


“Are you going?” Steven asks and the bed dips when he flops down beside Eduardo to squint at the laptop.

Eduardo’s already lost count on how many times he turned down all the shareholders meeting invitations sent by facebook, nagged by both Dustin and Chris for always being a no-show. He tilts his head towards Steven, his chin on his upturned palm, “Should I?”

“You know it’s your call babe.” Steven shrugs and kisses him hard on the mouth and lifts himself off the bed.

 

****  
_~~~~~~~~~~~~~_   


****  
_  
_   


It’s been a while since he set foot inside the facebook headquarters, the last time being when he smashed Mark’s laptop in half and remembers promising himself never again.

Back when Eduardo was still too deeply hurt, the concept of forgiveness seemed impossible, the saying ‘time heals all wounds’ nothing but complete and utter bullshit. He was too wrapped up in his misery; quite sure his wounds were never going to heal, that they will only fester and rot and get uglier when revisited.

So he promised himself he would never come back to this place, has come to associate it with betrayal and hatred and pain, it’s a little surprising when none of these emotions come to the surface.

It’s Chris who looks up from his computer and sees him first through the plexiglass wall of his office and then he’s standing up and hollering, “Dustin! Dustin! Look it’s Eduardo!” Then they’re both running outside to get to him and Eduardo grins so wide his face feels like it’s going to split. Ohgod he missed them.

He kinda visualized this pseudo-reunion to be a bit awkward but it’s really not, Dustin opens his mouth and he begins to ramble on and on and on about everything and nothing at all and Chris just shakes his head and rolls his eye, and it’s so easy to fall back to old habits.

They try to catch up and Eduardo gives them all the souvenirs he owes them, turned out he has like a hoard and actually had to bring a backpack to carry all of them with him. The unholy glee on their faces reminded him of their College days when they hacked into a bunch of porn sites and then gave Eduardo a list of accounts to use, his present for his birthday they said, he can’t help but grin back.

They lose track of time until a girl who’s sharply dressed in black pencil cut dress knocked on the door, gave them a pointed stare and informed them that the meeting is about to start. As the three of them shuffled towards the conference room Eduardo is suddenly all too aware of the fact that he’s gonna see Mark for the first time since deposition, he tries to ignore the uncomfortable knot that forms in his belly.

When he settles down he realizes Mark isn’t even there yet – well ofcourse he isn’t in yet Eduardo – when exactly did he care about work ethics or even basic societal decorum for that matter, just because the two of you had a fall out doesn’t mean he’s changed.

When he does wander in – twenty minutes later, when everyone’s getting a little impatient and starting to mutter things under their breath– Eduardo couldn’t help but try to recall if Mark has always been this thin, ever been this pale, if the dark shadows under his eyes have always been there.

When he looks at both Dustin and Chris they were staring right back at him, like they were waiting for this moment, for his reaction, like they somehow thought this was all Eduardo’s fault. He shifts in his seat, feels guilty and oddly defensive even when he knows he doesn’t have any reason to be.

When Mark takes a seat - and ofcourse it was right across from Eduardo’s, he felt the moment Mark laid eyes on him. The gaze is heavy and unwavering. Eduardo gives Mark a few minutes to process all these because he understands it's all a bit shocking, gives Mark the chance to lift his eyes away from him and so Eduardo stares resolutely at the presentation on the wall even when he’s got no idea what the fuck the speaker is going on about. Mark never stops staring at Eduardo though, which is not entirely that unpredictable, seems like Mark’s still the same man underneath the protruding collarbones and almost sickly pallor, still doesn’t know when to back the fuck off. So Eduardo meets his eyes but then he almost looks away again when he sees nothing but confusion and curious scrutiny there, he doesn’t back down though and neither does Mark. When Eduardo’s phone rings it startles the both of them. He stands up abruptly, so fucking relieved for the excuse to get away from this and get a breather, to get his emotions under a semblance of control, he mumbles, “I have to take this, it’s important.” He can still feel Mark’s eyes on him; can almost hear him say, “Facebook is more important you know.”

Eduardo’s hands are shaking and it takes him maybe a minute to fish his mobile phone out of his pocket… It’s Steven. He called to tell Eduardo he’s flying out of Singapore to the US and hearing his voice helps anchor Eduardo back down a little, helped release some of the crippling tension that overwhelmed him all of a sudden.

Eduardo nearly jumps out of his skin when he feels a hand on his shoulder.

“Wardo.”

He tries to politely shrug off the hand on his shoulder, takes a few steps back to put some distance between them before he nods his acknowledgement, “Mark.”

Mark is still staring at Eduardo like he’s trying to get inside his head and figure out how he works, “Eduardo,” he says this time. “Who’s Steven?”

Eduardo flushed, annoyed that Mark still doesn’t have the common courtesy to turn away when someone’s having a private conversation, “I don’t think that’s any of your concern.”

“Fair enough, okay why are you here then?” Mark is still looking at Eduardo like he’s some mistyped string of codes that need fixing.

Eduardo thought he was ready for this, he was clearly not, “Look, if I’m making you uncomfortable I can leave.”

“I didn’t say that, stop putting words in my mouth. I asked you why you’re here Eduardo.”

“I was made to believe this is a shareholder’s meeting and coincidentally no matter how much you may object to it Mark, I actually am one.” Mark was never one for needless and unproductive discussions, so why are they out here, going around in circles when they could be inside where they could pretend everything’s okay in the world and ignore each other’s existence, it’s been working fairly well for the past couple of years.

“It’s been two years when I last saw you Eduardo; you haven’t been in one shareholder’s meeting ever since deposition.”

“Why does it matter Mark? No, I won’t sue you if that’s what’s getting you all bothered,” he all but sneers at Mark.

Mark glares right back, “I said stop putting words in my mouth. Eduardo,” he pauses, and suddenly he just looks downright exhausted, “I just want to know, Wardo I just want to know.” He sounds earnest, like he’s trying to convey something much more than the words he’s saying by being purposely vague, like Mark expects Eduardo to get it and Eduardo’s still unfortunately hardwired to give Mark what he wants.

He swallows through suddenly tight throat, “It’s been two years Mark and I was hoping maybe we’ve moved past what happened. It’s time to let go of the grudge I have for you and maybe we’re at a point in our lives where we’ve both matured enough to accept the fact that as much as you or anyone else wants me gone from this company I’m here to stay so let’s pretend like we can atleast tolerate each other.” He continues when Mark’s frown deepens, “At the end of the day you did what you did for the company, I’m not saying that makes it right though. It just seems unfair that I get to lounge around while still getting paid so truth of the matter is I flew here to ask if there’s anything I can help with. That’s all there is to it really.”

“Wardo you-“ Eduardo waves a hand to stop Mark before he could get any further than that because he knows him well enough to know that whatever it is that’s gonna come out of his mouth, it’s just going to widen the rift between them because Mark’s oblivious like that, he unknowingly hurts people with his candidness and lack of tact and some things are better left unsaid in their case.

“Can we just function like civilized people and put our personal issues behind us?” He offers his hand and tries to smile when Mark accepts. The handshake felt final, like a closure of some sort. Like they were finally accepting the truth that they were never going to be half of what they once were together, will never truly reconcile in the true sense of the word and in the end; to others and more importantly to each other they were just founder and co-founder of facebook, business partners, associates and well nothing more.

They avoid each other’s eyes until the meeting concluded; he hugged Dustin and Chris and he shook Mark’s hand before he leaves, pointedly ignores the buzzing in the room.

When he gets back to his hotel room, Eduardo curls into a ball on his bed and cries because the truth was no matter how much he hated Mark for what he did  Eduardo always still had this tiny flicker of hope that one day they could settle their differences and rebuild what they once had. That’s not how it works though because their wounds are too deep, there are too many hurts hidden, too many accusations and apologies unsaid,  there are no words that can ever make things okay again, their bridges too badly burnt and sadly irreparable. 

So he cries because sometimes you just have to cry for things lost even if you’ve come to accept them.

 

****  
__  
the first   
  


Eduardo visits the headquarters at least once a month now, tries to be present during the company’s monthly Audits and tries not to have a headache when they hand him lists of all the advertisements Mark has turned down because of reasons unknown.

It’s easy enough to admit to himself that it’s not so difficult to look at Mark now, the pang of betrayal in Eduardo’s chest perhaps duller now. Sometimes when he’s perched on top of Dustin’s or Chris’ table he catches Mark staring in his office he doesn’t find it all that hard to smile in acknowledgement. Eduardo has grown to accept the way Mark’s stares still lingers a little too long, he ignores it because it will only make things awkward between them when it’s only starting to get easy again.

“Didn’t know you were in a relationship Eduardo,” Dustin was saying.

“Been in one for almost a year now actually,” Eduardo leaves the part where he ignored the relationship request for almost six months unsaid. Steven was mature enough not to confront him about it, Eduardo’s not really sure what he would’ve said if he did though, still didn’t have the answer truth be told.

Later, Eduardo found himself going through the maze of the headquarters to Mark’s office and Mark looks up from his computer –startled– when Eduardo opened the door.

Eduardo smiles, “Hey I brought you something; it’s just that I always bring stuff for Dustin and Chris and I’ve never given you anything.” He tilts his head when Mark just stares at the paper bag on top of his desk, “Well open it. Steven and I went to the Philippines and I just had to get them since they reminded me of you.”

“I reminded you of flip flops.” Mark looks so honestly confused and a little offended that it makes Eduardo laugh. Mark was probably caught off-guard, not quite sure how to respond to what was once an inside joke between them.

“Yes, flip flops,” He grins.

“Okay then, thank you.” Mark frowns at something outside, “I believe Steven Hurley’s come to pick you up.”

Eduardo frowns back and turns to where Mark’s looking, “What? Why yes, that actually is Steven, how the… nevermind.” He rolls his eyes, and pointedly refrains from calling Mark a stalker-creep. “Anyway I’ll see you ‘round Zuckerberg.” And then he’s walking outside, can feel Mark’s eyes on him again but he forgets all about it when Steven wraps his arms around him and lands him a hard, wet kiss.

It’s high time to move on and Eduardo’s pretty sure he has this time, maybe, finally… and life, life is good.

 

****  
__  
the end   
  


 


End file.
